How to spot financial chaos before it becomes your problem
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Money can be such a sensitive subject — especially when you’re dating.
People are either super comfy with it or tighten up immediately.
Never try to change people when it comes to money.
Just observe how they are with money, and see if it aligns with your values and ways of thinking. If it doesn’t, don’t force it or get stressed out. Walk away and save yourself the trouble.
Philosophies around money often don’t change after love or electrifying chemistry. Accepting people for who they are now is usually the best bet. And remember….there are several billion people in the world, getting stuck on one is child’s play.
A few things to contemplate include:
- How do they handle their money?
- Are they financially independent?
- Are they net worth positive or negative?
- Do they live below their means?
- What is their mindset on money?
- Are they seeking a financial savior?
- What is their work ethic?
- Are they generous or a tightwad?
- Do they tie their self-worth to their net worth?
- What are their expectations around money when it comes to you?
The list goes on. Be sure to have the money conversations early, it can save you a lot of gripes later.
10 Financial Red Flags
1. Red Flag — Their Instagram Flex Doesn’t Match Their Bank Account
Bottle service, designer bags, overdraft fees. Image-first thinking is how people stay broke forever — and drag partners down with them.
2. Red Flag — Mom and Dad Still Pay Their Bills at 30
Rent, car, insurance handled by a parent means they’ve never learned financial responsibility. You can’t build with someone who’s never carried weight.
3. Red Flag — They Post Luxury Life But Hide Their Credit Score
Vacations and hauls while credit is destroyed. That’s not ambition — that’s denial wrapped in aesthetics.
4. Red Flag — Designer Everything But Can’t Afford Groceries
Optics over survival. If labels matter more than food, stability is impossible.
5. Red Flag — They Post Wealth But Their Rent Check or Payment Declines
Looking rich while living in crisis guarantees future emergencies — and you’ll be expected to clean them up.
6. Red Flag —They Show Off Money They Don’t Actually Have
Borrowing to look successful. Maxed cards. Leased luxury. Reality always collects, with interest.
7. Red Flag —They’ll Venmo Friends Back But Owe You for Months
They have money — just not for you. Pay attention to who gets prioritized financially.
8. Red Flag — They Still Live at Home With No Plans to Leave
No savings. No strategy. No urgency. Comfort today becomes dependence tomorrow — on you.
9. Red Flag — They Move Back Home After Every Setback
Regression instead of problem-solving. Adults build buffers. Children retreat.
10. Red Flag — They Only Show Affection When They Want Something
Sudden sweetness tied to money, favors, or forgiveness. That’s transactional behavior not partnership.
Reality Check
Money issues aren’t about numbers — they’re about patterns, avoidance, entitlement, and discipline.
If these show up early, they don’t magically improve later. They compound.
Get more red flags here
This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any significant financial decisions.