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2 NEVER criticize your partner

Instead, seek to understand why they operate the way they do. You might learn or consider something new.

There might be times when you question or find something your partner does or allows absurd. Before you go hammer on your partner, sit back and opt for a more graceful approach.

Never come off as judging. You always want to ensure your partner feels safe with you and vice versa.

2. Never criticize your partner.

As hard as this may seem, always remember the statement, “Something said can never be unsaid.” Many things are better left unsaid. If you have nothing positive to say, don’t say it. Focus on seeing the best in your partner and affirming your partner, and you will experience a healthier relationship.

3. It Takes Two To Tango

Jay Shetty suggests couples focus on using “us” and “we” rather than “you” and “me.” It takes two to tango, which means you need to always consider your partner and think in terms of two instead of one.

4. Never Rush

There are several aspects of a relationship to explore: mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, professional (career), and physical (sexual).

Notice the physical is the last one. Why? It will always be there. If you want to produce less shallow outcomes, delay sexual and physical intimacy to prioritize getting to know, understand, and connect with your partner on super deep levels.

Most people get physical right away, and there’s nothing wrong with this, but slowing things down can potentially produce a higher-quality relationship.

What’s the rush? Allow your hormones time to settle so you can truly see a person for who they are instead of who you think they are or who you’d like them to be.

4. Don’t Settle Down. Settle Up.

It dawned on me how surreal the phrase “settle down” is. Most people settle for their partner or spouse for many reasons. Some of these reasons include:

Impatience

Adopting a lack mentality

Fear of loneliness or being alone

Lack of self-confidence, self-value, or self-esteem

There are billions of people on the planet. You don’t have to settle for the one that likes you. You can go for your ideal person, meaning you need to know your ideal person.

Around 70% of people settle in their relationships and end up wishing they had chosen differently (or not at all).

Your romantic partnership is one of the most critical (if not the most critical) relationships you will ever choose. Choose carefully, thoughtfully, and slowly. Don’t rush the process.

5. Align Your Values

How many of you sat down with your partner in the early dating stages to review your core values?

Most people skip this exercise. Instead, they focus on physical traits or meaningless hobbies and superficial similarities.

Unfortunately, hobbies, similarities, and physical traits don’t keep relationships together; it takes more than this to stay together, or more people would still be in a relationship or at least happy.

It’s okay if you don’t come from the same background, have differing hobbies, or approach life differently. What matters most is that you have shared values.

What are some examples of values:

Generosity towards self and others

A prioritization for health and fitness

A desire to prioritize and build a family

A commitment to reading, personal development, growth, and continuous learning

What are some examples of virtues:

Patience

Kindness

Humility

Integrity

Self-Discipline

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You are setting your relationship up for failure if you don’t share the same values and virtues. Don’t delay having the value conversation. You can always create new hobbies with your partners, but value systems are usually cemented.

6. Talk About Money Early

I get it. Money is a sensitive topic, but it’s also one of the number one causes of breakups and divorce.

It’s consequential to discuss a few things:

How often do they upgrade their phone and make unnecessary purchases?

Whether or not your partner is primarily a saver or spender

Are there people financially dependent on them?

What is their long-term financial plan?

What’s their credit score looking like?

How much income do they bring in?

How much debt do they manage?

Some questions don’t have to be answered right away, but the ones in bold (six out of seven questions) should be discussed relatively early.

Quick Recap

Don’t judge your partner.

Never criticize your partner.

It takes two to tango.

Don’t settle down. Settle up.

Align your values.

Talk about money early.

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This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.

This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.