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Self-Improvement + Stoicism
8 Lessons From An Inmate Who Lost Everything
Foresight without action is meaningless.
Lesson 1: Most aspects of life are fleeting/temporary.
Whatever good, whatever bad you are experiencing in your life, it will all pass in time. Remember this, and experience a more meaningful life, more thoughtful decision-making, and a more focused purpose.
Sober your mind. Sober your thoughts. Everything in your life today – including you – could disappear without a moment’s notice.
Stay in the present, but don’t get attached to it.
Lesson 2: Foresight is meaningless if you don’t take action based on those projections.
When you receive wisdom from others, listen. When you learn invaluable knowledge that will positively benefit your future, implement. The masses attend seminars, listen to books, go to college, and seek mentorship in exchange for time and money. But how often do we actually implement what we learn?
Example 1: Health
Our doctors are perfect examples of this. If you keep eating a certain way, you will become overweight, leading to more severe conditions like hypertension, diabetes, and other ailments. If we decide to eat however we desire, the foresight our doctor let us in on is meaningless since we didn’t act on the projections.
Example 2: Wealth
Most people know that investing leads to wealth, or at least we’ve heard the words more than once or twice. It is a fact that the sooner you start investing, the sooner you can experience wealth and financial freedom. Compound interest works best to your advantage when you start young. Yet, how many of us invest when we are young? Most opt to start investing in their 30s and 40s, playing catch up most of their lives.
Act on foresight immediately.
Lesson 3: Life brings suffering and pain to us all; whether it be the pain of discipline or the pain of regret is up to us.
Something we often forget is that we have the power of choice. Some suffering and pain are inevitable, but much of our suffering is self-inflicted due to our choices. There are consequences to every choice we make; whether those consequences are beneficial or destructive is up to us.
After having more than a few, which do you prefer:
Option A
Ordering an uber and picking up your car from the location after you sober up.
Option B
Conveniently take your car home, so you don’t have to go back out later.
You could make it home safely, or you could end up destroying someone else’s life that night in addition to yours. One choice has temporary pain and upfront discipline. Another choice has temporary relief and potentially prolonged discipline.
Lesson 4: Make peace with the people you care about if you are at odds. Don’t wait. Resolve the conflict asap and build on your relationships.
Some people will remain in our lives forever – often, these people are our families and closest friends. If you’re at odds with someone you love and care about, fix it as soon as you can. One thing I know for sure is that none of us know when our clock will stop ticking.
“Live each day as if it were your last. Plenty say it, few actually do it.”
“Never go to sleep angry. Plenty say it, few actually do it.”
How would you approach your relationships today if you knew it was your last day on this earth? What might you say and do? Who might you seek out? Who might you forgive? Who might you ask for forgiveness?
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Lesson 5: Make the effort to spend quality time with your loved ones.
I could easily work all day without spending any time with my family, but the consequences (there goes that word again) would insidiously be destructive to my relationships over the long haul. At the end of the day, whether we believe it or not, our work is not more consequential than the people in our lives and the experiences we get to create with them.
Time is an extremely limited resource. Find a balance between work, relationships, and play.
Watch out for the TV as well. TV can destroy intimacy within your relationships. If you’re not careful, the tv (shows, movies, gaming) can become your primary relationship.
Lesson 6: Share your thoughts and feelings with your trusted peeps. Let people know what’s going on in your life. Inquire about their lives as well.
People are giving up on life, getting into trouble, and making destructive decisions because they never did one thing: they never talked to anybody about what they’re going through.
You can stop trying to appear perfect. Everyone has issues, insecurities, fears, demons, potential or actual addictions, and imperfections. If you never engage in productive conversation with trusted people, eventually, you will explode. That explosion may happen to just you, or it may have a domino effect and severely impact those around you for life.
Talk to somebody. It might just save you and someone else’s life.
Lesson 7: Constantly reassess your priorities
We Fear Death, But For What?
Most of us fear death, which begs for another question: What are we trying to protect? For many people, they’re trying to protect their image and their stuff (e.g., homes, cars, clothes, careers, money, and phones); consequently, their lives are full of empty pursuits, desires, habits, and memories.
Attachments are our enemies.
Challenge yourself to protect something more withstanding than materials such as:
Your mind.
Your values.
Your virtues.
Your actions.
Your perceptions.
Point 2: Be ruthless to things that don’t matter.
It takes enormous self-discipline to clarify what does and doesn’t matter. Most people never master the art of prioritization within their lives.
“A challenging task to execute is to say, “No.” To invitations, to requests, to obligations, to everything that everyone else is doing. Even harder is saying no to certain time-consuming emotions: anger, excitement, distraction, obsession, lust. None of these impulses feels like a big deal by itself, but run amok, they become a commitment like anything else.”- The Daily Stoic, p22
“How many have laid waste to your life when you weren’t aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolishness, joy, greedy desire, and social amusements – how little of your own was left to you. You will realize you are dying before your time!” – Seneca
What doesn’t matter? What do you need to eradicate? What do you need to re-prioritize? Don’t delay. Make the changes today. Remember, foresight without action is meaningless.
Lesson 8: Live for yourself. Do you.
The final lesson is worth saving for last. We often act, be, and live based on how others respond and react to us. How many of you do the things you desire? How many of you live the life you desire? How many of you are genuinely you?
It’s hard to tell when society constantly tells us what to do, who to be, and what is most accepted by society. Finding yourself isn’t an easy task – especially since we’re inundated with cultural and societal directives.
Prioritize the relationship you have with yourself. Prioritize knowing and learning yourself. Prioritize your identity. Never forget who you are.
Recap: The 8 Lessons
Foresight is meaningless if you don’t take action based on those projections.
Most aspects of life are fleeting/temporary.
Life brings suffering and pain to us all; whether it be the pain of discipline or the pain of regret is up to us.
Make peace with the people you care about if you are at odds. Don’t wait. Resolve the conflict asap and build on your relationships.
Make an effort to spend quality time with your loved ones.
Share your thoughts and feelings with your trusted peeps. Let people know what’s going on in your life. Inquire about their lives as well.
Constantly reassess your priorities.
Live For Yourself
Further Reading
56 Life Lessons I’ve Learned Before Hitting 30
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.