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Now, let’s get to the fun stuff
Not only did he not find personal finance a fun topic, but he always wanted to discuss less essential matters that were entirely unrelated to ensuring the success of their relationship; an aware and intentional partner would pay attention to this fact.
I understand money isn’t for everyone, but it’s even less of a fun conversation if you end up with someone and never get around to learning where they stand financially.
Money is a critical piece of the pie in a relationship.
If you don’t talk about it early on, it will force its way into future conversations; the only thing is, you might be pleasantly surprised or unpleasantly surprised if you wait to talk money.
And for most people, it’s an unpleasant surprise.
Some people think it’s invasive to chat about money so early into a relationship.
I disagree.
As long as you see potential in your person, there is no harm in learning the high-level status of your dating partner’s financial habits.
Questions to explore without it being too painful:
Do you actively manage debt (i.e., car loans, student loans, home loans, personal loans, credit loans, etc.)?
Do you tend to live above, below, or correct at your means?
What is the last personal finance book you read?
Did your parents teach you about money, and how did they handle their finances?
Are you currently investing? If so, what are some of the types of investing you engage in?
Do you maintain an emergency fund?
Are you a saver or a spender?
What do you enjoy spending your money on most?
How do you feel about money?
Are you where you want to be financially?
These questions go into enough detail to get an accurate picture of where a person is financially without divulging every single detail.
Money is a primary form of contention in relationships, and the more important money is to you, the sooner you should have a conversation with your partner.
How Does Your Partner Respond?
Some people have a lot of unhealthy anxiety and beliefs around money; it could be because they grew up in an economically unbalanced environment, were easily influenced by societal messages about money (which are usually negative), grew up around people who carried intense fears about money, or always struggled with money themselves.
Whatever the case, being with someone who doesn’t initially respond well to financial conversations isn’t the end of the world if they’re open to shifting this pattern.
But in the case they aren’t, this is something you need to consider; when people aren’t open to change, they usually dove further into the habit.
In Summary
Ask your partner questions about money sooner rather than later.
You’ll likely never regret it, and if they get upset about your money questions, it’s something to flag in your mental journal and potentially take action on.
Relationships aren’t a game, and the resources and financial habits both partners bring to the table can elevate or de-elevate you financially.
Choose your partners wisely.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.