This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Do better than your parents did
My father also went through his share of trauma that I’m not going to mention due to how traumatic it is. Neither of my parents knew who their fathers were either.
But never once did my parents do anything that happened to them to me.
Were my parents perfect? Hell no.
They made mistakes, as all parents do, but if anyone had a reason to fail as parents, it would be mine, and I share the same sentiment with any parent that experienced a traumatic childhood.
Yet, allowing our pasts to determine our future actions is a scapegoat.
My parents didn’t want to go through the trauma they experienced, but they did. And I never wanted to experience a repeat of the trauma my parents experienced just because they did.
How do you want to be treated? What did your parents do wrong that you want to do right?
Parenting is a selfless sport. Not everyone is built for it, and many parents today shouldn’t be parents because they aren’t ready for the responsibility that comes with it. Yet they are, which means you must bear the cross responsibly.
It wasn’t in my mom’s plan to be a parent, yet she was pivotal to where I am today. Her most excellent gifts were books, encouragement to follow my dreams, an introduction to therapy, and countless wisdom.
My mother paid me to read personal development books and listen to tapes when I was a kid; I enjoyed them so much that I still read personal development books today.
She inspired me to write my first book when I was 11. She encouraged me to start a music teaching business at age 14. She took out a parent-plus loan in her name to help me pay for college (and I didn’t let her use a dime of her money to pay it off), and there were many other things.
Both my parents grew up in poverty. We also experienced several economic hardships. Yet, I’ve seen the world. I’ve experienced every type of schooling (public, private, alternative, distance learning, and home school).
I had every reason to fail as a human because of the generational trauma, poverty, and pain that has circled throughout my family. Still, I chose differently; my parents are the primary reason.
If you are a parent from a traumatic background, do better than your parents did. You can at least try to do that.
How people parent is a choice. It’s a choice if you abuse, neglect, or love your children. One action can create better results and also healthier future generations.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.