This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Look for these critical things in a healthy dating partner
A person that goes crazy over you and immediately fills their life with as much of you as possible sounds romantic, right? They frequently try to fill your life with as much of themselves as possible, but this can lead to unhealthy and unconscious coupling.
I’ve had someone threaten me because I traveled too much. They couldn’t handle being a part, and this was simply because they had few hobbies. The hobbies they did have were mediocre and meaningless at best.
Want to know what I did?
I kept traveling. “Well f*ck you, and good luck.” was my attitude; I’ll never be desperate for company. As impressive as they were, I had to say goodbye, live my life, and do what I desired to do. If I didn’t do it, who would? I can’t allow someone else to run my life.
Learn Who People Are – Before Diving In Too Deeply
When you start dating someone, always learn who they are and what they do already.
It’s true; some people can become more spontaneous because another person inspires them to be that way. But being with someone comfortable being with themselves and having activities, work, and healthy relationships outside of you is a whole different experience; it’s a higher quality experience.
Seeing someone living and exploring life without me is one of the most attractive things. I want to be part of that. When someone has nothing going on, what’s to get excited about?
At the beginning of any situation, infatuation, and chemistry can keep things hot for a while, but after all that shit dies down, you need personality, conversation, relationships, community, activities, and hobbies to keep things interesting.
Critical Things To Look For In A Dating Partner
Community (close relationships with friends and family – even chose family).
They enjoy their own company and solitude. They know how to be independent.
They have hobbies and passions. They know what they enjoy and regularly engage in it.
They don’t try to take up all of your time in an unhealthy manner or make demands of your time.
They enjoy spending time with you but allow you time to live your life. They implement boundaries early on to ensure your identities don’t mesh and respect your boundaries. People who try to push your boundaries signal a red flag alert.
Early on – they never ask you to sacrifice things you care about for them; these situations only make sense in a case-by-case scenario and should never happen too soon in any situation.
Someone told me they wanted to see me every day when we first started dating. For some reason, I didn’t want to do that (this was the first red flag…I didn’t want to spend much time with them). But on top of that, my schedule would not allow for that, and they didn’t seem to be respectful of this fact.
Some people are successful and can be with each other for years or a lifetime after meeting every day for weeks or months. But it is usually unhealthy to do this, and essential that you maintain your routine early on in a situation to maintain your identity.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.