This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Then I walked away before things got too toxic
They didn’t love and respect themselves, so I knew they could never love me. Their behaviors were so childish, broken, toxic, and insecure.
Early on, I saw the red flags in the person after less than a week of chatting, but we were both people with a higher level of thinking.
Though they were less evolved, we both had powerful knowledge to exchange with one another, which proved true. I learned things from them that no other dating partner could provide because they weren’t “there.”
Though I couldn’t love them the way they wanted me to, I was able to love them the way they needed to be loved, which was tough love – something they had never received from a woman they dated before.
My mother questioned why I stuck around, and she had every right to, but deep down, I knew it was temporary.
Here’s why I stayed: I wanted to show them patience, unconditional love, and acceptance. Someone showed me patience in a previous situation, and I wanted to return the favor to someone who needed it badly.
I knew I might be the catalyst that could change their future behavior so that they could experience a more positive relationship outcome.
I had an expiration date, though. A few weeks before my last day seeing them, I had already removed my stuff from their home.
We were both happier people after the ending. I felt lighter, and they could now face themselves without the burden of having me in their ear, challenging them to be better.
These days I think of relationships differently.
Yes, the healthier you are, the healthier the people you attract. But sometimes we attract people less healthy than us to show them another way, to help them grow and elevate, so they can be better off than before they met us.
Ironically, dating people who aren’t as evolved as us helps us grow into even more highly developed people and reminds us how much progress we’ve made.
But you never want to stay involved with unhealthy and toxic people too long, or you will start to adapt to their habits, no matter how evolved you are.
Eventually, you become your surroundings.
I think we could all use someone in our lives that shows us patience when we don’t deserve it. Someone who loves us when we secretly loathe ourselves. Someone that accepts us when we reject ourselves.
We all need someone to show unconditional-no-expectation love to us, so we can show it to someone else who needs it. Then they can show it to someone else, and the chain reaction continues.
Was it tiring to be involved with the person? Absolutely. It was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting, and I barely wanted to be around them, but I gave without any expectation of getting anything in return except growth. Sometimes I saw it in them, but ultimately I didn’t see a permanent change, and I’m okay with that.
I no longer try to mold people into who I want them to be.
My final thoughts about them: Okay, I did my part. I showed you another way. It’s time for me to go, but I know you will never be the same again. And I hope you find love in yourself, so you can experience it with someone in a way you’ve never experienced.
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