This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Refuse to neglect your well-being for the sake of others
As women, we often put the needs of everyone and everything else before the needs of ourselves; we do this in our relationships, families, friendships, careers, responsibilities, and every life.
Here are some questions to consider:
What is best for me at this point?
Do I need to say “no” to someone or something?
What do I need in my life that I’m not receiving?
Do I tend to feel happy and light or down and heavy?
Do I feel I understand and know what I want in life?
Am I trying to resolve other people’s problems more than my own?
Am I in control of my life lately, or do I feel others and external things control my life?
Based on your responses to these questions, it might be time for you to implement some minor or radical life changes.
For the most part, no one will cater to your well-being. You have to own your life. You have to own your mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and professional well-being.
Prioritize what’s best for you, or you might wake up one day run down, stressed out, bitter, and filled with regret.
Let this be a kind reminder that you – and only you – are the gatekeeper of your own happiness. Delight in that wisdom. (Cyndie Spiegel)
At the end of your life, wouldn’t it be nice to say: I took care of others. I was generous and invested in the well-being of many throughout my lifetime. But I also took care of myself, gave to myself, loved myself, stayed in tune with myself, trusted myself, and did the things I wanted and needed to do for just me.
We don’t have to keep giving all of ourselves to others. We can keep some of ourselves for just ourselves; we deserve this.
Last Reminder: It’s Okay To Say No
“No,” “Nope,” “Not Now,” “Not going to happen.”, “Possibly not ever.” Now is as good a time as any to stop saying yes to things you really want to say no to. if you’ve been waiting for permission to say no, permission granted. Say yes to the things you choose and no to the things you don’t. (Cyndie Spiegel)
One strategic way to take back control of your life and prioritize what’s best for you is to say “no” more often to people, emotions, thoughts, events, obligations, the past, relationships, and other things and people you deem toxic or unproductive to your life.
Many of us have been taught that nice means to say “yes” with a smile even when we mean “no.” We can still be nice and say “no.” If you’re uncomfortable saying “no,” start practicing it in privacy. Then graduate to minor instances in your interactions with others. Then take it to the next level and start saying “no” in significant instances. Eventually, saying “no” will become so comfortable that you will not get emotionally invested in how others respond to you when you say “no” because you prioritize what’s best for you.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.