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Does this make her parents racist?
For some reason, I could never forget a conversation my friend and I had about dating. She told me even if she liked a Black guy, she could never bring him home because her parents were against her dating a Black guy.
At the time, I was younger, racially ignorant, and unenlightened. I didn’t think much of her parent’s odd stance on their daughter’s dating, but it must’ve meant something subconsciously because I never forgot the words.
Both teens participated in an Anderson Cooper 360° study on children and race. Many students reported discouragement of interracial dating from their parents or friends, with reactions ranging from wariness to outright forbiddance (CNN).
My friend can think for herself, but I do believe her parent’s disdain for black males affected her in some capacity.
Interracial Marriage Tensions
I remember my friend talking to one black guy of interest, but she never allowed it to go further because of her parent’s wishes.
Interestingly enough, my friend didn’t end up marrying a black guy, but she did end up marrying a person of color.
According to a report by the Pew Research Center using 2012 Census data, 8.4% of marriages are interracial compared to just 3.2% in 1980, and in 2010, a full 15.1% of all new marriages were interracial (CNN).
The oddest thing is how her parents took such a strong stance against black males out of any other race.
Why Black Men Are Demonized
If you are constantly portrayed in the media as evil, dangerous, less than, and out of control, the programming starts being adopted by those who intake the media or have a network of people who constantly intake these messages from different forms of media.
It’s not just Black men who struggle with stereotypes, it’s all people of color, but minority men tend to be more demonized than white men. Furthermore, men tend to be more demonized than women.
When babies are first born, the grown ups there to raise them often already having an idea of what they will be. These expectations are based off of the parents talents and personalities as well as what the parents do. As a result, They are never given their own identity until the early ages of adulthood because they are told that they can not do necessarily everything that they want because they are still minors who are undecided of who they are or want to be.
The same thing happens to a lot of minorities and for longer amounts of time because they are not raised the “ideal” way. It sucks to have to be seen as someone else because someone set an example before or because it happens that someone might be “judging a book by its cover”.
Unfortunately, the situation is similar and common for Black males. In addition to family expectations, they face the limiting stereotypes presented to them outside of the home. This stereotype loop, perpetuated by the news media, causes them to be demonized by the rest of society.
– ScienceLeadership.org
After taking a step back and spending time in reflection, I finally did realize that my friend’s parents, though kind to me, were racist. To tell your kids they are not allowed to date or love someone based on the color of their skin is beyond problematic.
I’m sorry my friend had to grow up in a household that enforced these types of ideals. Situations like these are causing the perpetuation of racial divides.
When parents teach their kids they are free to love, date, and marry who they please, the world can be a more peaceful, accepting, loving, and colorful place.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.