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Stoic Philosophy
The Silent Master of Human Beings: Fear
Courage is to RESIST fear, not destroy it.
It blinds us. It breeds hate. It stimulates strife. It stifles creativity. It prohibits stoicism. It pillages stability.
Fear is a dynamic concept. It comes in various forms and causes a plethora of responses. Fear might cause one person to hide and another to attack. Fear can motivate us or cause stagnation. Fear can make us misunderstand or shun the unknown. Fear can aid survival, and fear can kill us.
Fear is silent. It lurks in the corners of our hearts and mind. Fear whispers seeds of dissent in our spirits. It is a slow poison if we allow it to be.
We often think of fear as a “scared of the monster” type of emotion. But fear is actually much more intricate: Fear is existing in a state of DREAD.
When fear controls you, you will never reach your full potential. It leads to a constant cycle of misery. We need not serve fear. We must never let it fester in our souls. Acknowledge the fear, analyze the source, and respond accordingly.
Courage is to RESIST fear, not destroy it.
Part 2: Decompose Your Fears
An intelligent way to manage fear is to question it and break it down to its core to better understand its origin. But we usually don’t question our fear.
Instead, we let our fears fester.
For example, you might have a fear of losing the love of your life, a friend, a loved one, your job, or your wealth. Instead of living with the fear daily and letting your anxiety evolve uncontrollably, you should ask yourself the following questions and think about the following statements:
Fear of losing the love of your life: Who am I without my loved one? Why do I feel so much fear surrounding my loved one? Is there something within our relationship we need to address? Does my partner make me feel safe and loved? Am I maintaining my identity within this relationship?
Fear of losing a friend: Friends come and go. Whether that friend seems irreplaceable, they aren’t. You can always make new friends. Remember, attachments are the enemy. Love your friends, but allow them to move through life how they need to – as should you. If you hold on too tightly to people, you will inevitably lose them anyways.
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“Many are harmed by fear itself, and many may have come to their fate while dreading fate.” – Seneca, Oedipus 992
Fear of losing a loved one: We cannot control the outcomes of life, but we can appreciate the time we have with the people we love. Recently, I lost two people I love; they were taken away from me abruptly and without notice. Grieving is hard – whether someone is taken away from you indefinitely or permanently. Stay in the present so you can cherish the memories of now. No one is guaranteed to stay in our lives forever. And for the loved ones we lose due to their choices, we must graciously accept them so that they can live their purpose.
Don’t try to control the people you love.
Fear of losing your job: Do I have an emergency fund with 3–12 months of expenses saved in the case of job loss? Do I have the marketable skills to acquire another job within a reasonable timeframe? What is my plan B if this job goes to sh*t? If you don’t have marketable skills, start obtaining new skills and knowledge for your next gig (you should always acquire new knowledge to stay sharp and ready for the next opportunity anyways). If you lose your job, the best thing to have is an emergency fund; if you have this, the fear of losing your job becomes a less fearful monster. You know that you’ll have 3–12 months of expenses saved up to give you time to rest, recuperate, and decide what you want to do within your career next. If you don’t have money saved in an emergency, start today. Sometimes having a backup plan (or three) helps eradicate a fear altogether.
Fear of losing your wealth: Money, resources, and capital can all disappear without a moment’s notice. We can spend our entire lives building an empire, which can burn before our eyes. Be careful of attachments to things and money; attachments are the enemy.
You must question all of your fears and break them apart so you don’t allow the fear to sabotage your peace of mind. After you question your fear and create a plan to tackle it, let the fear go; if you hold onto the fear, you’re only harming your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
“Only the paranoid survive, Andy Grove, a former CEO of Intel, famously said. It might be true. But we also know that the paranoid often destroy themselves quicker and more spectacularly than any enemy.” – The Daily Stoic, p47
There is such a thing as healthy skepticism, but at what point does skepticism, which is essentially fear, lead to paralysis and an incomplete life?
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.