This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Let’s get intimate about the topic of personal finance
It might sound harsh, but if you have two people who are financially dependent on each other, that is an unhealthy way to live or grow a relationship.
Too many people are tied to relationships due to monetary reasons.
Another partner asked me to move in relatively quickly.
Though they were making close to half a million dollars, some things didn’t add up:
Their credit was poor.
They didn’t have a lot of savings.
Their spending habits were poor.
They didn’t make sound investment decisions.
Their home was too small for my preferences and not worth the cost I’d be paying.
But more importantly:
My intuition told me to say “No.”
I rather not have lived with anyone at that point.
I wasn’t in a financially desperate position to live with someone.
I didn’t want to live with them badly enough or be around them 24/7.
I was not ready to move in with them because I was still learning them.
Questions You Should Ask Before Move-In Day
I recently wrote the article “One Reason Why Couples Move In Too Quickly.”
Some of the questions you should ask yourself and your partner before moving in include the following:
Do I need my partner’s income?
Am I financially strong on my own?
Do I have an emergency fund in place?
Am I on track with my savings and investment goals?
How does my partner handle their finances?
Does this person have a positive or negative net worth?
How much debt does my partner currently have?
If my partner has debt, what is their debt repayment plan?
Does my partner invest?
What income percentage does my partner save/invest each month?
What are my partner’s financial goals?
How much does my partner earn?
Does my partner need my income?
Why does my partner want to move in with me outside of the emotional aspect?
How well do I know my partner?
What is my partner’s philosophy about money?
Is my partner financially self-sufficient?
Has my partner ever lived successfully lived by themself?
What are the spending habits of my partner?
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If the answers to these questions help you feel comfortable about the decision to move in with your partner, congratulations.
Here are a few more things to think about as you two spend your life together:
#1 Maintain Your Financial Independence
Do not give up your job or income at your partner’s request. Always maintain financial independence even if everything in your relationship goes perfectly.
A man asked his wife to give up her job. So she did. He then ended up divorcing her shortly after.
Oh, snap! She had no job, so she could no longer provide for herself. But that was her choice to give up her job.
I’m not implying this will happen to you, but it’s prudent to keep your financial sh*t together even during comfy financial relationships so you never have a surprise on your hands.
#2 Can You Afford Yall’s Lifestyle By Yourself?
Watch the expenses. Make sure you can afford the lifestyle you desire to live independently.
Would You Be Able To Afford Your Lifestyle Without Your Partner?
What happens with many couples is that their money gets so tied up that they forget they can’t afford everything they’re buying and that they need to live with each other to afford things, which can create a financial dependence on each other.
Many people are stuck in relationships because of the money involved. They can’t leave without negative financial implications.
When one of my relationships ended, I was not only able to cover my expenses, but I was able to cover theirs. I also was able to increase my standard of living. If things have to end, you want this type of ending.
If you’re living with someone, ask yourself, “Can I afford our lifestyle with my income?” If not, consider decreasing your expenses or increasing your income.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.