This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
There’s more to parenting than cute stuff and legacy
My first thought is, how tf do you intend to holistically provide for them if you’re struggling to do it for yourself now?
Sound harsh? If you’re a parent, you know how having kids can shift your financial situation, and if you’re not a parent, ask another parent or your own parents how you affected their finances.
Many create or perpetuate their financial struggle by having kids they can’t afford.
You’re Financially Struggling Because You Have Kids
People may not want to hear this, but many exasperated a poor financial foundation by having one or more kids.
Most people:
Struggle to afford a $500 emergency expense
Are behind on their retirement savings
Maintain unnecessary debt (e.g., car notes, student loans, credit card debt, and anything unnecessary)
Though many people are not having kids, many people are having kids.
And the ones that are having kids are rarely taking financial precautions to prepare for these upcoming kids.
There are also many cases where the kids were generally unplanned, which makes sense since many people don’t plan financially.
Not planning can carry over from one area of your life into many other areas.
There’s nothing wrong with having kids, but kids are a life-long investment (if you do it right).
They take resources, time, energy, and tremendous effort, and many adults need more time to be ready for the financial responsibility that comes with it.
The Romantication Of Having Kids Exasperates Financial Struggle
It’s not too far-fetched to say many people romanticize having kids.
People want to create a legacy – even though many legacies are, at best, superficial pursuits.
Even the best superheroes can be forgotten. We will never know of many historical figures because time has silenced their legacy.
Then you have people who want kids because it seems like the thing to do, or their friends are doing it, which seems fun.
Then you have people that have kids to “save their marriage.”
Then you have people that have kids by accident.
The reasons are endless.
It’s not bad to have kids, but it can be bad for your finances if you’re unprepared.
A parent came to me for financial assistance. They have multiple kids, housing, food, daycare costs, a car note, and other expenses. Having kids has shifted their entire life trajectory and financial situation. Not only are they struggling, but they are double struggling because of the kid factor.
My first question to them was, what costs can you eliminate? Parenting often comes with an inflated lifestyle; there’s always somewhere (even if it’s small, where you can make cuts).
Reconsider Having Kids If You’re Broke or Financially Struggling
I will never tell people what to do, but I encourage people to make better financial decisions.
Yes, having kids is a financial decision. If you think this statement is heartless or too logical, this is where you might want to rethink your paradigm.
People who don’t plan for their kids financially often sacrifice their financial well-being or struggle to provide everything their family needs.
It’s not uncommon for parents to reach retirement age without any savings or enough savings because they invested it all in their kids, and that’s all they could afford to do.
Why struggle or make the struggle harder when you don’t have to?
For some of you, waiting might not be your favorite option if time is running out.
Some of you want to have kids right now. But are you ready for the financial commitment?
Some of you do have kids right now and have no financial regrets. Congrats, you did it right. You were able to improve your financial situation, or you have help.
Some of you have kids and do have financial regrets or are unwilling to admit it, and you’re still trying to figure out what tf you can do to escape the financial struggle.
Having another kid won’t save you, but restructuring your finances, decreasing your expenses, and increasing your income will.
Before you have kids, consider the financial implications:
Food
Housing
Clothes
Activities
Education
Medical/Insurance
You get the picture.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.