A Top Reason Couples Move In Together
Nobody in love wants to hear this, but one of the top reasons couples move in together is not due to love; it’s due to money!
It’s no mystery.
Two people in love? F*ck yeah. “Let’s live together and save money on housing so that we can build wealth faster and cut living expenses.”
It’s an emotional and financial thing that frequently happens in relationships.
Sometimes it makes sense because the two people are ready and willing to explore a mature relationship and share financial responsibilities.
However, many people are not ready to deal with all the extra stuff that comes with moving in together so quickly.
Finances are a crucial component of any partnership/relationship.
Financial reasons are one of the most common causes of divorce and separation.
What’s Your Current Situation?
Is your partner wanting to move in with you?
If so, here’s how to ensure it goes smoothly or to determine if you should proceed at all.
The 6 Signs You Should NOT Move In With Your Partner
Some of you are into egalitarian relationships, and you never want there to be any imbalance of power.
But you also may not:
- Want to spend a large portion of your money on housing.
- Or you’re financially strapped and could use some help.
- Or you don’t want another income source or job to sustain your lifestyle.
- Or you want to leverage someone else’s money.
- Or you want to save more money without having to get another job or decrease your cost of living.
- The first sign that you should not move in with your partner is when you NEED to move in with your partner. This is the first step to creating a financially codependent relationship, which is a big red flag if you want to cultivate a healthy relationship that is financially independent.
- You don’t have any savings or investments.
- You would not be able to afford the place without your partner’s financial contributions.
- You do not have an emergency fund.
- You are drowning in debt.
- You are financially struggling and living paycheck to paycheck.
If you fall into any of these categories, you might want to consider getting your financial sh*t together BEFORE moving in with your partner.
Always go into a residential relationship with a sound, solid, and healthy financial situation.
Financial disagreements and misaligned habits and values around money, are key components that cause divorce and separation in relationships.
The 4 Signs You SHOULD Move In With Your Partner
If you decide to take the leap and move in with your partner, there are a few ways to do it right:
- You two genuinely know, love, and appreciate each other independent of romance. There is a deep friendship. You both have a clear idea of how it is to spend considerable time with each other. There is value alignment between you both. Finally, there is a pattern of mutual respect and patience across the board.
- You two are able to openly communicate about money often and transparently. Here are some starter questions that you all may have reviewed: Are they currently on or off track with their financial goals? Do they have any financial goals? Are they spenders or savers? What do they like to spend their money on? What do they not like to spend their money on? Are they financially strapped? Do they need your income to live a certain way? Do they need your income to live period? Do they live above or below their means? Do they use electricity and water excessively?
- You two have a clear plan of how you will manage the new financial flexibility. For example, you two may find a way to live off only one income and save and invest the rest. Or both of you can live on 50% of your incomes to build exponential savings and wealth independently. Also, you both will take advantage of the extra savings to pay down any remaining debts instead of adding debt.
- You both view it as a magnificent opportunity to save and increase your net worth versus viewing it as an opportunity to spend more. It’s TOO easy to start living above your means because of the additional income you have access to now that you’re living with the love of your life. However, that additional income can disappear quickly when you forget the opportunity you have. Keep your expenses low. Don’t jeopardize the opportunity by living above your means and adding expenses.
“One in three Americans (32%) is uncomfortable discussing finances in their relationship, according to new research (Yahoo Finance).”
The Before You Move In Questionnaire
If you haven’t already moved in with your partner, hold off on doing so before reviewing the running list of questions below:
- Do I need my partner’s income?
- Am I financially strong on my own?
- Do I have an emergency fund in place?
- Am I on track with my savings and investment goals?
- How does my partner handle their finances?
- Does this person have a positive or negative net worth?
- How much debt does my partner currently have?
- If my partner has debt, what is their debt repayment plan?
- Does my partner invest?
- What income percentage does my partner save/invest each month?
- What are my partner’s financial goals?
- How much does my partner earn?
- Does my partner need my income?
- Why does my partner want to move in with me outside of the partnership piece?
- How well do I know my partner? Have I traveled with them? Have I met their friends and family? Have I seen them in multiple settings?
- What is my partner’s philosophy about money?
- Is my partner financially self-sufficient?
- What are the spending habits of my partner?
If a person ever pressures you to move in or needs you to move in, there might be some financial motives behind it. Never place yourself in a situation by moving in with someone who needs you financially.
When you need someone financially, you subject yourself to having less control over your life and decisions, and you also make it harder to leave if you ever need to exit.
What I Want You To Remember
- Always maintain your financial independence.
- Bonus reminder: Never blindly cosign a loan with someone.
When Things Go South After Moving
For many couples, moving in together becomes one of the best decisions they ever made. But this isn’t always the case.
I know couples that live together today, and they’re stuck because they’re financially codependent on one another.
They need the other’s income to maintain their lifestyle, and they don’t make enough money to live alone.
If they leave their shared home environment, they don’t have any place to go. Furthermore, after living with each other for so long, they frequently have financial ties (e.g., shared debts and other responsibilities such as kids, housing, car payments, credit card bills, or personal loans).
Personal Story
Someone I previously dated wanted me to move in with them, and I politely declined. They were cash flush, financially on track, and many similar values, but it was too early to move in and my spidey senses weren’t feeling it.
Thankfully, I was financially independent and not in desperate need of living with someone else to save money.
But many people desperately need to live with someone else to share the financial load, which leads to many other issues.
Never move in for financial reasons.
Always use logic, and be sure to address the questions above on the checklist and any others that come to mind after going through the list.
This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.