This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
At the time, one of my good friends was making $125,000 a year, lived in the rural suburban, had no kids or pets, and had a paid-off car. Yet, he never had any money; in fact, he was near bankruptcy and got to the point of ignoring his indebtments – as if they would resolve themselves.
In the past, he was laser-focused about getting on track financially; it was a complete 360-degree turnaround until he shacked up with the person he considered the “love of his life.” His financial boundaries, goals, and healthy habits flew out the window after he met her.
A simp is someone who does way too much for someone they like.
Randomly, my friend asked me if he was a simp. At the time, I didn’t know he was, but it looks like he already had insight into the truth.
My friend and his girlfriend consistently spent money on drugs, alcohol, clothing, furniture, other forms of entertainment, and food. Living above their means was a daily habit for them. However, he was the breadwinner and acted as if they had all the money in the world when he allowed and joyously offered free use of his credit cards to his girlfriend. I even suggested they not move in together and not tell her his new salary for his new big shot corporate gig. But he wanted to flex.
It broke my heart to see him throw away his money time and time again to impress a woman that clearly had no respect for his financial future – let alone anything else.
Backstory
He grew up watching his dad be the primary provider of the family, which he desired to do for his future partner. The only thing that went wrong with his idealistic thinking is he couldn’t afford it since he didn’t have boundaries or a budget in place.
Tips
1. Never cease holistically investing in yourself emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If someone compromises your financial wellness, dip out. It’s not worth it. If someone compromises your personal development, dip out; it’s not worth it.
2. Taking it slow in relationships is wise. You don’t have to let people move in with you right away or give access to your financials. Get to know people and their habits before making big partnership decisions; 99.9% of the time, you won’t regret doing this.
My Date Prioritized Appearance Over Finances.
After several months of dating, my date asked me: Are those the only jeans you have? At the time, I felt embarrassed and a little awkward about the question since the person was all about appearance and fashion, but not embarrassed enough to go out and buy another pair of jeans…
While my date prioritized their appearance, I prioritized my financial well-being and minimalistic practices. I could have bought another pair of jeans, but I didn’t need to because I already had my favorite jeans. Why get more? Who do I need to impress? No one – especially not my date.
To this day, I’m in a significantly better financial position than the person I used to date, and here’s why:
They still live with their parents (Not knocking anyone who does this, but it’s better to live with your parents because you want to, not because you have to. Be aware of the difference. Financial independence is priceless.)
They invested in their college education with thousands of dollars. Yet, with only a few classes left to complete, they didn’t finish, which is one of the greatest wastes of resources. If you see the finish line, cross it; you’ve already made it.
Their closet is overstuffed with fashionable clothes, which is money sitting in a closet versus an investment account.
They’re reliant on menial hourly wages.
When it comes to personal finance and investing, they’re small-minded.
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Side Note: Investing in fashion is nice if you have the money, but you’ll look good in anything if you invest in your physical exercise and diet. Looking strong, fit, and healthy naked is underrated.
Don’t Waste Your Time Impressing People.
I know most people do it [aims to impress others], but it doesn’t mean you have to as well. People go into debt trying to impress people who could care less about them. I know how good it feels when someone likes you. I know how good it feels when you have the opportunity to flex; it’s an endorphin high.
Once you realize you don’t need to impress anyone, though, you’re free from the entrapments much of society falls into like: not being yourself, living above your means (trying to keep up with what you see on social media), being overly materialistic, unhappiness, unfulfillment, living in debt with a negative net worth, living with too much stuff (anti-minimalism), dead-end jobs, and unfulfilling careers.
Some Thoughts
I’m grateful I didn’t give a crap about what people thought of my clothes or lack thereof choices in clothing, my 13-year-old car, and everything else about me that may not fit in with mainstream society. I don’t want to be normal.
Hey, I’m Destiny, and I give away my books for free daily. Read more of my finance articles here.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.