This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
If you keep bailing people out, they’ll never learn how to manage money
It used to be spread out every other month or every couple of months, but then it turned into a monthly and sometimes weekly thing.
At a certain point, I asked them, “What in the world is going on with your finances? You make great money…what are you doing with it?”
Was I enabling them to continue to mismanage their finances?
Crap.
Asking that question to them helped us both gain awareness about what we were doing, though.
They had terrible financial habits, and I prevented them from learning to manage their money by consistently bailing out.
It was profitable for me since I sometimes charged interest, but it was not profitable for them.
Though it’s nice to help out those in financial need, it can be debilitating for the receiver who needs to learn how to support themselves financially.
Instead of giving them fish, I needed to challenge them to learn how to fish.
Give Your Broke Friend A Personal Finance Book
My mother did something amusing (at least to me).
A friend consistently tried to take advantage of her financially, and instead of saying yes, she told them about a book by Dave Ramsey so that they could improve their financial situation.
They stopped asking her for financial help after that.
Though it’s funny, it’s probably one of the kindest things that person will ever experience.
She empowered them and provided them with a resource that could transform their relationship with money and their net worth.
If you have family or friends that consistently ask you for financial help, instead of always saying “yes,” give them a personal finance book so that they can take empowering action on their finances and stop begging you for money.
It’s Okay To Help People Out
Don’t twist my context. It’s kind and generous to help people out – especially when they are in a bind, but if they’re frequently coming to you for money, something is not right.
You need to implement financial boundaries, or you will soon become a financial crutch for whoever feels comfortable enough frequently asking you for money.
Never Give To Others If You End Up Hurting Yourself Financially
Financial boundaries are tricky. Of course, we want to help those who need our help – especially if we have the means, but how will it affect them long-term? Furthermore, how will it affect you?
If you’re giving to others to the point it’s taking you off track with your financial goals; then you need to take a step back.
Recently a friend told me they were giving to another friend of there’s, yet they were financially struggling.
How does that work?
They knew they messed up because they felt the pain after they let their money go to the other person.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.