This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Everyone does it differently
Some couples like to share all the money and have shared bank accounts. The financial identity of both parties is unified completely.
Other couples like to maintain separate accounts and split everything down the middle.
Then you have some couples where the partner who makes the most money contributes more to the expenses.
Also, there are couples where neither party truly knows how much the other makes. Money is a real secret topic in these relationships.
Everyone will do what’s best for them, or at least I hope. Because we all know many people get burned financially in relationships because they don’t do what’s best for them.
So, take a quick moment and decide what is best for your finances:
Should everything be shared, split, or partially connected? I know some couples who share a few accounts, but not all, and it works great for them.
**I do recommend you have at least one account in your name only.
The goal is not to use money against the other person. If one person makes more money than you, does that mean they should pay more of the expenses?
If one person makes less than the other, does that mean they shouldn’t contribute a fair share? Every relationship has its own rules and quirks.
However, many relationships end or experience multiple heated arguments around money; it’s a taboo subject amongst most couples. I enjoy conversations about money, but not everyone I’ve been involved with feels the same. Bummer.
Whether you’re male, female, or neither, it’s critical you ensure you’re financially independent whether you make less or more than your partner. If you decide to take on more financial responsibility since you bring in more income, be sure you can afford to do so and aren’t doing so out of obligation (this is a common pitfall in many relationships).
One guy took on more financial responsibility after his partner willingly lost their job. He was bitter the entire time he was taking care of everything – especially since his partner stopped trying to get a new job; this is a perfect example of a toxic and codependent financial relationship.
There comes the point (in certain relationships) where one person might make so much more income, they don’t mind taking on more financial responsibility because it virtually has little to no impact.
If you have to think about offering your financial support to your significant other, start where you’re comfortable to avoid the bitterness that comes in many relationships surrounding the topic of money. You might just be a tightwad, and that’s something with a remedy.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.