This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Navigating unhealthy parental decisions about money
It’s parents, too.
Some of you are too familiar with this fact because your parents have frequently asked for or need financial support from you.
It’s tough to say “no” to the family because it’s family.
So where do you draw the line?
Examples of Financial Sabotage
There are some cases when you might want to rethink helping a parent. In these cases, a parent is financially sabotaging themselves.
If your parents continually sabotage themselves financially and expect you to save them, it is best to set boundaries to avoid becoming their plan B when sh*t hits the fan.
Seeimingless harmless actions can lead to financial sabotage, so we must all be cautious about how we utilize money – especially when it starts affecting others.
Examples
Gambling or betting.
Overspending on addictions.
Spending more than you earn.
Not taking advantage of economic surplus.
Using money to eat out instead of invest.
Consistently not saving and investing your money.
Using guilt or past actions to get money from others.
Frequently asking for money due to a need for change in habits.
Sabotaging Times of Economic Advantage
Do you recall when people got delivered checks in the mail or deposits in their bank account if they earned a certain income at the initial stages of the pandemic?
I’m sure many of you didn’t forget.
Some people used that money for necessities such as bills, rent, and groceries. But other people used it to buy new televisions or things they didn’t need. I know this because I kept seeing an influx of television boxes by dumpsters during that time.
Moreover, some people were receiving unemployment for months and months on top of the pandemic checks. There were many cases people got paid more for unemployment than for working a job.
But here’s the kicker…many of those, who received unemployment and pandemic checks, were financially flourishing during that time.
But they no longer are because they didn’t use the opportunity to switch up their habits.
If anything, they are worse off than they were before.
If you’re getting value from this — sign up for my newsletter, a free daily 5 AM email. Discipline delivered before the sun comes up.
There have been instances when I helped families by living with them and paying rent.
Some families choose to invest the money or use it wisely. Others spend it and don’t take advantage of the extra surplus.
When a parent or adult continues to sabotage positive financial situations, they choose failure. If you know a financial opportunity is coming, use it to improve your financial situation.
50 & 60-Year-Olds Don’t Have Enough Savings
Many adults in their 50s and 60s are inches away from traditional retirement age and still don’t have much saved up because they didn’t properly financially prepare, which isn’t a surprise since most people of all ages don’t financially prepare for their economic futures.
The difference with our parents needing to prepare for their financial futures is that it directly impacts us. Just as if we aren’t financially responsible, we directly impact them.
For those of us with partners, kids, and pets, adding additional “adult dependents” can feel beyond stressful and have you thinking: “Wait a second…I’m trying to get my sh*t together!”
Take Responsibility For Yourself
I will never abandon my family, but I expect my parents to proactively manage their finances, establish self-sufficiency, and build solid savings and investments for themselves.
Taking care of their parents is not a kid’s financial responsibility. No matter our circumstances, we are all responsible for our outcomes.
Placing responsibility on someone else’s shoulders because you’ve given up, are lazy, aren’t “educated” enough, or take care of everyone else is not an excuse.
Key Takeaway: Neglecting yourself financially is irresponsible and not okay. Parental economic choices can frequently affect their children. Everyone is responsible for their financial outcomes, and we all have the power to shift them.
If you’re a parent, stop putting your financial situation on hold for your kids or other family members. Always ensure you’re taking care of yourself first. Then, take care of others. That way, when your time comes, you’re not a financial burden to others.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.