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Black Lives Matter
I Used To Want White People’s Hair
How society insidiously teaches us to aspire to be white.
“Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet?” – Malcolm X
It wasn’t until college that my diversity mentor taught me to love my kinky, thick, and high-maintenance hair. She educated me on how to better care for my hair. After I learned to care for my hair, I fell in love with my hair.
Society Teaches Us To Disdain Black People
In America, the Black individual has to deal with an influx of indirect and direct messages that teaches them to consider white as best and black as the worst. These messages are in our music, movies, TV shows, and sometimes our everyday interactions.
As a Black individual, have you ever been deterred from walking somewhere you knew many Black people were? Are you scared when you walk in low-income neighborhoods populated with people of color? Do you get more suspicious of a black person than a white person? Do you find non-homogenous black people more attractive than full-on Back people? Do you treat white people or black people with more respect in the workplace? Some might say, I treat all people the same, but if you took an objective deep dive into your behaviors, you might find that your implicit bias favors white people.
We learn to fear black people, be suspicious of black people, punish black people more harshly, and find non-black individuals more attractive.
Black individuals are the products of white-washed enculturation; we are taught to aspire to be more white-like because white is the standard. Of course, this is changing, and more people are now opting into diversity, but at the core of our American society, white is still more loved, more praised, more respected, and less punished, aka white privilege.
A Perfect Example of White Privilege:
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Imagine Obama doing the same things Trump did while in office?
Do you think Obama would have the opportunity to complete his term in office if he conducted the same actions and behaviors as President Trump? Answer this question honestly. The answer to this question shows how white privilege is still in full effect. You can be white, do disrespectful things, hurt people, and almost start world war 3, yet still get praised and a full-blown pass.
Society Needs To Teach: Black Is Beautiful
White people are the standard. White people are who society teaches us to respect. And somehow, I learned this early on as a kid; I was taught to love white people more than myself. My parents didn’t teach me this, but the message somehow got through, which is scary; I don’t know the origin.
Anytime a Black woman complains about her hair, I try to help them find the beauty of their hair because it truly is beautiful and magnificently diverse in what it can do.
Let’s all love each other, respect each other, and put more effort into eradicating homogenous standards of beauty, unfair advantages, and discriminatory treatment.
Part I: My White Friend Doesn’t Believe In Systemic Racism
Part II: My White Friend Doesn’t Believe In Systemic Racism
Part III: I Lost My Friend of 11 Years to a Conversation About Race
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.