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A recovering from codependent
I don’t talk about this much because I spent years of my life working on it, but here I am talking about it today.
I’m a recovering codependent.
Recently a friend of mine asked how I manage the emotions that derive from watching the people I love make unhealthy lifestyle choices because they’re going through the same thing, and I told him…
It’s f*cking hard, but I have to let go, or I’ll drive myself crazy. The only thing I can do that is 100% in my control is live a healthy life and hope it inspires them to do the same.
I tell everyone at least once how their behavior makes me feel, and then I let it go because holding onto those emotions is unhealthy for me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Codependency: I’m Recovering
I’m a recovering codependent.
It was so bad that I thought I had the issues of the people struggling with the issues.
I did radical detoxes, refrained from eating certain foods, and ate extremely because I was doing what I thought people around me needed to do. I rarely drink alcohol, and I don’t know if that is because of watching others abuse it or because I genuinely don’t like it. I’m that person that will go to Napa Valley and not be able to tell you about all of the fine wine, but my goal is to change this.
It wasn’t until after college that I realized their issues weren’t my issues. I’m not an alcoholic, a food addict, a drug addict, or a sugar addict (though I do love sugar).
I’m in control of what I do with my body and how I care for it; I have mastered self-discipline in this area.
So why am I forcing myself to implement these radical habits as if I’m an addict or struggling with food or substance abuse?
Your Issue Is Not My Issue
After college, I moved away from most of my long-time relationships (i.e., friends, family, etc.).
It was only then that I started to experience the weight lifting off my soul.
I was free.
It dawned on me that all the rigorous discipline exercises were not because I needed them; they were for all those surrounding me who needed to implement them.
For the most part, I can successfully function around those who choose to make less healthy choices, but I do notice that I tend not to want to be around them for long periods – primarily because, after a while, I start to feel uncomfortable watching people I love slowly hurt themselves by their habits.
Whenever I get stressed about others’ lifestyle choices, I remind myself to take a step back and remain objective.
Are their choices potentially detrimental? Yes.
Is there anything I can do about it? No, except love them and live the healthiest life I possibly can to inspire them to do the same.
Are You A Recovering Codependent?
If you’re a recovering codependent, I understand some of the frustrating feelings you’re dealing with; the best thing you can do is communicate your feelings to them once (when they can hear you) and then let go.
For some of you, letting go might mean you need to remove yourself from your surroundings to experience more peace.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.