This was only supposed to be 10 red flags. At first, I struggled to write more than 3 at first, then I put some music on, and I’m like oh yeah I’ve observed all these other things from personal and second hand experience.
You may disagree with some of these. Please do. I love dissension.
Money Red Flag 1
They don’t share their money with others. They don’t prioritize generosity or helping others. Instead they focus inward and mostly on their own affairs.
Money Red Flag 2
They expect you to split all the bills, not because they believe in equality, but because they can’t afford their lifestyle without your 50% discount.
Money Red Flag 3
Their attitude towards generosity is conditionally based on your income. If you earn more, they’re less giving. If you earn less, they’re more generous.
Money Red Flag 4
They continually move back in with parents because they don’t know how to maintain a life of their own financially and independently.
Money Red Flag 5
Their net worth is negative. And they’re not doing much to shift the trajectory.
Money Red Flag 6
They have zero financial goals.
Money Red Flag 7
They’re reliant only on employer income.
Money Red Flag 8
They only have one stream of income.
Money Red Flag 9
They consistently need you to spot them while they get their shit together. A friend is financially supporting her boyfriend who lives in another state while he gets his shit together; then she plans to move out there with him when he’s ready. What’s your take on this situation?
Money Red Flag 10
They’re stingy with you, but not with others.
Money Red Flag 11
They don’t have financial boundaries with friends or family.
Money Red Flag 12
They use you as a scapegoat when they make poor financial choices.
Money Red Flag 13
They buy you things you don’t need, want, or ask for almost as if they’re trying to buy your love.
Money Red Flag 14
They’re always ravenous for that next paycheck. They’re looking for it like a hawk.
Money Red Flag 15
They talk about money a lot. But not in a positive way.
Money Red Flag 16
They don’t consistently invest.
Money Red Flag 17
They pull out their money during bear markets or dips. Essentially they’re an emotional investor.
Money Red Flag 18
They never educate themselves about money.
Money Red Flag 19
They keep their promises financially even when it hurts them. They don’t know how to pivot even if it costs them a short-term reputational dip.
Money Red Flag 20
They’re flashy with their money.
Money Red Flag 21
They lack integrity about where they stand financially. You don’t need to go into all the details, but you should be able to touch the basics. Like their philosophy on debt, spending, investing, goals, etc. One guy told me his house is paid off, and I asked more questions and came to find out it’s not paid off. They just got it for a ridiculously low interest rate, which made them feel like it was “free.” And they weren’t investing seriously, so I knew it wasn’t even a technicality; their net worth wouldn’t cover it.
Money Red Flag 22
They can’t manage their own finances. They are dependent on others to help them manage their own money.
Money Red Flag 23
They don’t have an emergency fund. If they lost all their income, GAME OVER 👾🎮
Money Red Flag 24
They’re broke AND not working to change it.
Money Red Flag 25
They’re investing HALF-HEARTEDLY. They don’t take investing seriously. They might max out their 401k and nothing else. AKA not enough.
Money Red Flag 26
They rely on the government for their paychecks. One thing we can all learn from this government shutdown and programs reaching end of life in America is that nothing is guaranteed. Don’t put all your eggs in that basket.
Money Red Flag 27
They try to impress you to unintentionally or intentionally override your judgment. One of the most powerful things you can be is unimpressed by money. It will help you be more confident, less attached, and filter men more quickly. Doesn’t matter if their net worth is 9 figures or they own a private jet they’re ready to take you on TODAY. Don’t be impressed. It’s all noise. Look for character, values, and alignment.
Money Red Flag 28
They want you to give up your income. RUN. 🏃♀️☁️ One of my biggest rules is never give up your income — even if you’re the designated childcare. It will add just a little bit more equality and peace and freedom and independence. No one is keeping receipts, is telling you how to handle your money. And no one can tell you shit or give you shit. Why? Because it’s yours.
Not only are these red flags; they’re turn-offs. Talk about money, and often. Ask the questions. Make your dates squirm, and be ready if they ask them back. 😎