This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
My White Friend Doesn’t Believe In Systemic Racism
Four lessons I’ve learned since publishing the article
During this time, I’ve had to opportunity to explore many racially charged conversations with non-black individuals, and here are a few things I’ve learned:
#1 African Americans Will Need To Educate Others
It’s not African Americans’ job to educate non-black individuals about our experience. Yet, it often is because too many people are uninterested, unaware, or uninvested in our experience. It’s nothing to take personally. Most humans are so focused on surviving their own lives that they simply don’t have the emotional capacity to explore painful issues in the black community.
#2 Racism Won’t Go Away
If you think about it, racism has existed since the beginning of time. The human race is a power-driven society, which means people will utilize whatever they can to exert power over others, whether that is due to a difference in sex, religion, race, orientation, etc.
People will look for any reason to deem you unworthy to be accepted and seen as equal because they fear that if you win, they will lose.
The best thing you can do is have intellectual and healthy conversations with open-minded people (maybe they can reach the people you can’t), don’t allow your race to be used as an excuse not to be successful, and live your life most graciously.
We don’t have to fight everyone who doesn’t see us as equal. This is a utopian style of belief.
#3 Share Your Story With Others
My stories about my experience as a black female have reached thousands of readers across the globe, but if I had never opened my mouth or shared my words on paper, no one would know about them.
Don’t underestimate your voice.
If you have a story, share it. People will listen, grow, learn from it, and maybe even change their behaviors and previous ways of thinking. You can make a difference in the world with a seemingly minor impact.
#4 Good Intentioned People Can Still Be Prejudiced
Here’s a list of some of the off-putting moments I’ve experienced since the creation of the article:
A white guy asked me if I could twerk. It’s a harmless question, right, or is it?
A white friend told me she couldn’t date black men because of her parents. Another off-putting
Two white guys were serviced before me, even though I arrived before them.
My White doctor didn’t look at me a single time in the eye when I came to complete my visit.
A friend’s boss asked why MLK is a holiday.
A female Black HR executive tried to undercut a Black friend from being paid fairly.
But hey, I still love everybody. One negative experience doesn’t make a whole group of people racist or evil. Two of my closest friends are white, and I love them with all my heart.
And Here Is ONE of The Texts I Sent Her
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.