This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Never tie yourself to former acquaintances and friends that pull you down to their level
My Response
Some of your old friends need to be acquaintances or eradicated from your life. Other old friends may be worthy of a deeper relationship. But often, we outgrow our old friends from college, grade school, past jobs, and other avenues; we end up thinking differently and developing opposing values. Rhythms that once existed are now out of sync, which is okay.
We shouldn’t try to force relationships with our old companions. If you grew apart, it’s usually for a reason. Now, sometimes we grow apart because we didn’t put enough effort into the relationship, but there are many times we grow apart because both parties have changed.
Be willing to embrace your old companions for who they are now. But more importantly, be willing to embrace the person you have become. When we accept ourselves, we attract people into our lives that also accept us.
Do you accept who you are, who you’ve become, and who you’re becoming?
Stoicism’s Response
Above all, keep a close watch on this – that you are never so tied to your former acquaintances and friends that you are pulled down to their level. You must choose whether to be loved by these friends and remain the same person or to become a better person at the cost of those friends. If you try to have it both ways, you will neither make progress nor keep what you once had.” (Epictetus)
It’s tough: letting go of old relationships. We want to hold on because we like to remember the relationship for what it was instead of what it is now. It’s a painful experience; it’s a form of grief – especially for relationships that were years or decades-long and filled with vibrant and reminiscing-worthy memories.
But who have you become, and who do you want to be? Your past relationships may no longer be in sync with your responses to these questions.
Who Are Your Five Closest Comrades
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with (Jim Rohn).
Who are the five people you spend the most time with outside your family?
Should they be close friends, or should they be acquaintances?
Are they elevating you or detracting from your life?
How do these relationships make you feel?
Every now and then, we need to take inventory of our relationships to ensure we are not allowing toxic and unproductive relationships to negatively affect us and be present in our lives.
Whether you believe this truth or not – our relationships significantly influence us. We must be discerning about who we surround ourselves with; they should not only be people who accept us as we are but help us reach the person we can be.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.