This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
It’s a vicious cycle that will never end until you decide to end it
Trauma is passed down from generation to generation. It never ends until someone wakes up in enough pain and decides it’s time to eradicate the trauma, pain, cycle, and unproductiveness.
Most people never reach this point because they have adapted to the pain and the status quo. It’s easy to choose a life of pain. There are many things to numb the pain: drugs, alcohol, work, sex, avoidance/denial, busyness, addiction, etc.
I struggled with boundaries for much of my life because it wasn’t the strongest area in my family. We all struggled with boundaries in different areas of our lives.
In Retrospect, Things Could’ve Been Different, But..
The truth is my parents did the best they f*cking could. I could make a list of things that could’ve gone better, but what’s the point? My childhood is over, and all I have is now.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to release my unforgiveness towards my parents about the decisions they made over my life or painful situations that occurred in my past. Holding on to pain only leads to bitterness, strained relationships, and disease.
We’re All Trying To Do Our Best
Parents are humans, too. My parents came from a highly traumatic childhood and background – as many people do. Considering this fact, they did an extraordinary job at parenting my siblings and me. But if they didn’t have a traumatic background and tried their best, that’s all that matters.
We can only do the best we can with the resources we have.
The Second Chapter: Another Shot At Parenting
Something cool about adulthood is that your parents can become your friends and get another shot at parenting.
I bounce off so many ideas from both my parents, and I feel that our relationships with each other are more open, vulnerable, genuine, and exciting.
We can pretty much talk about everything without awkwardness. There is a level of respect for both parties.
Now that I am entering the second chapter of life, my parents are also entering the second chapter of parenting. I can say without hesitation that both of my parents have become better parents than they were.
I’ve learned that it’s never too late to be better than you were yesterday. But you can only do that if you forgive yourself for your mishaps and the little things you wish could’ve gone better. Forgive yourself; have compassion; love yourself, and be a better parent to your kid. It’s never too late.
Advice From Child To Parent
Make your kids feel like their voices matter, and listen to them. When you do this, they will never fear speaking up for themselves and revealing their most authentic selves to the world with complete confidence.
Strict Parenting Taught Me NOT To Have Boundaries
It was not okay for me to have my own
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.