This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
STOP RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE
I’ve been financially dependent on others before.
At one point in my life, I was looking for an escape to a healthier environment than where I was.
My dating partner offered to let me stay with them; I was grateful and stayed with them on and off for a short period. I still paid all of my basic expenses, but while I stayed with them, I was on the hunt for my next job, and I got it after some hard-ass dedication and time invested-two lovely offers.
One caveat, both jobs were out of state.
What did I do?
I left without an ounce of hesitation.
I’m a logical person. I had to decide whether to obtain financial dependence, or continue looking for a job and be semi-financially dependent on others.
I chose immediate financial independence, and the first four things I did after getting my first couple of paychecks included:
Paying off my car.
Building an emergency fund.
Paying off my credit card debt.
Obtaining my own place to live in.
I wasn’t playing any games.
If you don’t prioritize your financial independence, no one else will.
When you don’t seek financial independence, you’re okay with allowing others to be in charge of your options – even the best of people can turn on you and say, “GET OUT!”.
I’ve seen this happen to dear friends who thought their partners would never do such a thing.
Some people are okay with one party being financially independent in the relationship. Okay, I hear you. But human beings are unpredictable.
Sometimes, things don’t go as planned. And this is why I will never rely on another person to fund my life. I will always have my own, even if someone pays for everything.
Why would I give up my freedom?
At one point, I was out of work for six months. My partner kept telling me I should hurry up and get a job, but I didn’t have to rush. I had an emergency fund and didn’t need my partner to cover my bills and expenses while I was out of work. I could still stand on my own two feet, and that’s the way I will continue to live.
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Adults Still Haven’t Reached Independence
I have friends who are in their 20s and 30s. They have never lived independently because they can’t afford to; they’re tied up in complex relationships that are ultimately ongoing because of money.
One of the primary reasons couples move in together – relatively quickly – is because of, you guessed it, money.
It might be romantic reasons, but a primary motivation is money.
Why not save money since we love each other so much and enjoy being around each other?
And money is also one of the primary reasons relationships end or is a common dispute between both parties.
Some People Hop Around To Whoever Can Help
A woman planned to move in with her guy friend because her boyfriend kicked her out of the house. She didn’t end up moving in with her guy friend; instead, she moved in with her ex-husband.
In this situation, I saw a woman who lacked the financial independence to afford her sh*t.
When you don’t have your own, you are at the mercy of people with the financial means to make decisions.
She was hopping around from one living situation to the next, but the real action she needed to focus on was figuring out how to stand on her own two feet without seeking financial help from others.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.