This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Are Your White Friends Actually Racist? Maybe. Maybe Not.
My friends and acquaintances have always been diverse. Thankfully, I’ve had some extraordinary relationships with people outside of my race that was fully aware of racially sensitive topics and ongoing events.
However, since I am open to everyone, I’ve also had my fair share of questionable experiences – primarily with white individuals who seemed to be genuinely unaware of their ignorance.
Ignorance: The lack of knowledge or information.
Don’t take this word personally; all of us are ignorant about something.
Here are some of my previous experiences with white individuals…
1. My Parents Don’t Allow Me To Date Black Men
I could understand if your parents are racist, but why hold back if you like a Black guy? Unless, of course, you are also racist, as your parents are.
An old friend told me she would never date black men because her parents didn’t allow it. She did marry someone outside her racial group, but she never ended up dating Black guys – even though she liked them.
Though she never demonstrated racial disdain towards me, I still never forgot our conversation about black men. For some reason, it always bugged me.
Whenever people claim they won’t ever date a specific group of people, is it racist, prejudiced, or preference? Some people say it’s preference.
I beg to differ, though. If you specifically mention you would never date a specific racial group, that is the equivalent of being close-minded and wholly ostracizing an entire racial group; it begs for questioning.
2. Systemic Racism Doesn’t Exist
At this point, the systemic racial problem should be no surprise to anyone. Yet, it still does for some reason.
One of my white friends told me systemic racism is nonexistent. The precise words they used were:
“Respectfully D, this had been PREACHED by mainstream media, with no evidence, and this has been a foundational point of the Biden/ Harris Administration on the campaign trail and now, still in office.”
There are so many examples of systemic racism in today’s society you could lose count:
Gentrification.
Loan discrimination.
Mass incarceration of Black males.
Redlining (housing discrimination).
Sexual objectification of Black females.
There are so many more to add to the list, but there’s no point in making this a depressive article. I have a point to make here.
Systemic racism still exists, will always exist, and has existed since the beginning of time.
3. Black Women Know How To Take Care Of Their Men
It gets worse. Another white friend claimed that black women know how to care for their men because of a gratifying sexual experience they experienced with a Black female. Whaaaat……………?
First off, I don’t know if all black women care for their men. Each black female is different and cares for their man differently.
I know that Black females frequently tend to be the leaders in their homes and independent, but to claim that black women know how to take care of their men and make the basis of that statement based on a sexual experience…that calls for some major objectification flags.
Second off, not all black women are with men. So the statement this person made was ignorant and just plain offensive.
4. A White Male Asked: Do You Know How To Twerk?
My initial response was, “Doesn’t everyone? (my thoughts went straight to Miley Cyrus).” Heck, I’ve seen many non-black individuals twerk better than black individuals. Anyone and everyone can do it.
Why did this question rub me the wrong way, though? Maybe because many people believe that if you’re Black, you should be able to dance, play sports, be loud, or you’re overly sexual.
Expectations are a form of prejudice and perpetual racist thinking patterns. A perfect example of an expectation is how many people expect Asians to be subservient and passive, but who’s to say your personality isn’t subservient or passive?
Racial identity should never pre-define an individual.
Try To Deny It, But You Might Be Racist
I’ve had some interesting encounters with people outside of my race. Still, every encounter has allowed me to share a different lens and make people a little less ignorant.
Though certain believe their thoughts and words are harmless, they’re often, in fact, racist. You just might not realize it.
What’s Your Story?
What questionable moments have you experienced regarding race – whether it was your own doing or someone else?
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.