This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Vulnerable conversations with those outside of your community
Our friendship went down the pipes for about a whole year, though. The last conversation we shared before our friendship went down the drain was about race, and my friend disappeared for an extended period.
At the time, my friend did disagree with me, but they didn’t disappear because of that; it was due to some dire and respectable circumstances that I will not mention in this article.
The Three Articles:
Part 1: My White Friend Doesn’t Believe In Systemic Racism
Part 2: What’s Happened Since The Text Conversation
Part 3: I Lost My Friend of 11 Years to a Conversation About Race
Are You Willing To Have Raw & Open Conversations?
Discussing the subject matter of race isn’t easy and uncomfortable. It’s difficult – especially when you’re an outsider to the community. But the more willing others outside of our community are open to learning about our side of the story, the more empathy, acceptance, and peace we can experience amongst each other.
My dear friend and I don’t always see eye-to-eye, but we have a mutual respect and unconditional love for one another that continues to stand the test of time.
Do we always support the same candidates? Nope. Do we always agree politically? Nope. But we are open to listening to each other to show respect, understand, and see life through a different lens.
Be Willing To Educate Yourself On Black Matters
If you’re white or any other race outside of Black and have black friends, do them a favor and educate yourself on their experience.
I recently chatted with a non-Black friend who shocked me when they started spilling details on Black culture and history. I was not expecting them to have so much knowledge. In fact, they knew more than I did, which was quite refreshing, frankly.
It takes effort, energy, and time to educate yourself on any particular culture or group of people. We’re often ignorant. People who take the time to understand are jewels and help create a more sustainable and peaceful society.
How My Friend And I Are Doing Now
We are back in contact and doing better than ever. We had heart-to-heart conversations about life, relationships, love, politics, family, and, more relevantly, RACE.
We’re on the same page again.
Give People Chances If They’re Open
I share this story to let people know that some white people are genuinely racist and will always be, but some white individuals are willing to learn, grow, listen, and become more aware of what is happening amongst the black community.
Don’t write people off just because of a disagreement. Don’t write people off because of ignorance. Don’t write people off because of close-mindedness.
Stay open to learning and exploring new ideas. Always remember that each individual can never sit in someone else’s shoes, so we should probably listen when people share their experiences with us; they are the owners of their unique experiences.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.