This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
What I learned about myself dating insecure people
Two guys I previously dated told me indirectly that my ass could be bigger. And I thought to myself, “Well if we’re keeping it 100, you could use a workout routine for your entire body.”
What’s A Bigger Ass Going To Do For You?
But wait, why does my ass need to be bigger? What is a big ass going to do for you in the long term? Give you something to stare at? Give you more to grab? Turn you on more during sex?
All of these things sound like a bunch of dumb ass empty, and meaningless desires to me. How about you get in the gym, work out, and fix your ass and everything else that is out of shape on your body?
My ass may not be big, but it’s in shape because I care meticulously for my body. Even if I wasn’t in shape, who are you to criticize my body? No, thank you, honey.
They also forgot to consider that their ass was nothing to take a second look at. This isn’t being rude. Facts are facts.
But would I ever say these things to them? There is no need to because appearances don’t matter to me like that. It takes more than an attractive body to keep a relationship going. Ultimately, looks are meaningless.
I’ve only dated one person with a similar fitness level, but they also had insecurities. However, they never made me feel like I needed to change anything, which was nice. However, their insecurities did take a toll on me mentally.
I’ve learned that it’s best to date people who are secure in themselves and love and appreciate your body.
Insecure People Are A Pain In The Ass
You’re dodging a bullet if you haven’t dated an insecure person. I’m thankful for the experience because it helped me appreciate my body more and realize what one more toxic behavior looks like.
It’s a pain in the ass dating someone insecure. Not only do they criticize your body, but they might also suffocate you and try to take up all of your time. Then, they will question you if you don’t give it to them.
And the criticizing doesn’t stop at your body; it finds a way to disseminate into other areas concerning you. If you end up dating an insecure person and stay, you will need strong self-esteem to ensure their words don’t negatively affect you long-term.
Let’s Take A Step Back Though To Self Reflect
Why have I attracted these types of people? I’m not shallow and don’t date people based on looks.
I had to take some time to reflect….
Do I attract people that I want to change?
Though I wouldn’t criticize another person’s body because I accept people for how they look physically, I have noticed a pattern:
I tend to date “projects” or “fixer-uppers.”
So, it sounds like I have some work to do. It’s okay to date someone that doesn’t need my help. Well, there you have it. I just did a session of therapy.
These relationships didn’t work out, btw.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.