This piece is part of my 2016–2026 archive migration. Some original formatting, content, and external links may be missing, changed, or not be optimized.
Don’t be fooled
Potentially.
You can’t know for sure until they show you their accounts, which will most likely not happen so early on in a new relationship or for a long time.
But let’s face it, most people are in debt, about 80% (Source: American Express) if we want to get into the hard stats.
What does this mean? Most (not all) people are flexing if they have nice stuff. They look good, but their pockets and accounts look weak. It’s not challenging to look like money these days; you only need a credit card and make enough money to afford the minimum monthly payments.
Strive For Financial Independence Before Dating
When you enter the dating space, be sure you’re not dating someone for money, or you just might be disappointed later. Even if you hit the lottery, you’re relinquishing your financial freedom by depending on someone else.
The best financial gift you can give yourself is financial independence, so you never rely on someone else or really even have to consider their income – except whether the combination of finances will affect you positively or negatively.
Have your own money, income, investments, and bank accounts. Never allow yourself to become wholly reliant on a a romantic partner to provide these things for you. Is it bad? No. Many people do it successfully, but to maintain your independence always have something that comes from your own effort, energy, and skillset.
The “Nice Car” Dilemma: Do They Own It?
85% of people have a car payment. If you see someone driving a nice car, it’s most likely not paid off. These are facts.
Next, you need to consider how easy it is for them to make that car payment. If they went further into debt for a car and have a negative net worth, that’s not a healthy sign.
The “Nice Crib” Dilemma: Can They Afford It?
Most people are living above their means. It’s not uncommon that a person’s housing costs exceed 30% of their after-tax income.
Why do people do this? Well, bigger is better. Convenience (location) is king, and who doesn’t want to have a nice crib? Most people want this.
But if a person goes for the nice crib, can they afford it without breaking the bank and making late payments?
But wait, there’s more. Can your date afford the house and also still afford:
Gas
Food
Utilities
The car payment
Debt repayments
Some of the dates and outings that you two go on together
If not, this is a clear case of financial mismanagement.
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.