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Do you have a healthy self-image, or do you fear challenging your partner?
See You At The Top by Zig Ziglar is officially one of my favorite books of all time. The book focuses on a holistic personal development journey, and one of the pillars the book tackles in-depth is self-image.
In the book, Zig mentions how when you’re in a relationship, a clear indication of a healthy self-image is when you challenge your partner to improve some area of their lives. I wholeheartedly agree with this.
Think about it. When you value yourself, your time, and your life, you don’t allow just anyone to be around you, you don’t repeatedly allow people to treat you poorly, and you don’t allow people to treat you as a doormat. You have self-worth, which means you will not accept the status quo or average behavior from others.
A Poor Self-Image Accepts The Status Quo
When you don’t have a healthy self-image, you tend to accept the status quo from your partner.
You don’t challenge them to grow because you fear rejection, chastisement, imposter syndrome, embarrassment, or appearing insecure.
You might think, “How could I challenge this person? I’m not doing so hot in x, y, and z areas. Who am I to make a suggestion?”
We All Have That Friend That Won’t Leave The Toxic Relationship
And this is why you often see your friends staying in toxic and unhealthy relationships. It’s because they have a poor self-image and don’t believe they can do any better.
A good friend of mine stayed in a relationship with a guy who consistently cheated on her and treated her like dirt.
This friend a golden ruby; invaluable beyond measure, which is why the rest of her friends and I were infuriated while she was with him and celebratory when she was finally done with him.
When you have a poor self-image, you stay in unhealthy relationships and never mention your discomfort with negative behaviors in an assertive manner.
A Healthy Image Doesn’t Come Without Flaws
A person with a healthy self-image does not exempt themselves or believe they are without flaws, which is why they continuously invest in their personal development.
A person with a healthy self-image continues to progress on their personal development journey and doesn’t shy away from challenging their significant other to do the same.
Challenge Your Partner If You Want The Relationship To Grow
When two people come together, they must both grow, or the relationship will suffer. Conflict will result if one person is growing and the other is sitting still.
Though two partners may not grow at the same rate, the relationship can work when both partners are growing and the gap between them isn’t too large.
My Experience
Most of my romantic situations have made me assertively challenge the other party to improve themselves.
There have been situations where I challenged the other party less frequently because it seemed to be more of a short-term situation.
In one unique situation, the other party challenged me more, but I understood that it was because I was not invested in the situation.
What has your experience been?
This content is for informational purposes only — not professional advice. Consult a qualified professional before making any major decisions.